Firsts are always tough.
I think it’s a pretty common area to have tough firsts in relationships. However, my loneliest firsts in the last few years have happened within the first year of living in a new home.
There’s so much to learn about your neighbourhood and what happens on a day-to-day basis or on holidays. What are your neighbours like? Do the holidays get loud? Are people jerks about street parking? How quiet do they expect your household to be?
It will be almost 1 year to the day I moved in here. The first few months were quite lonely, but I’ve really gotten comfortable here. I really like this neighbourhood and my new home. However, moving in to a house is totally not like moving into an apartment. I’m completely unprepared for the holiday season, and it all starts tonight: Halloween.
Halloween was quite easy for me at my first apartment because it was… An apartment.
*It was a huge complex with a lot of privacy and a lot of people often just took their children out to trick-or-treat, for a change of scenery.
*Also, it was hard for people to know if you were home or not, because you couldn’t see any lights from the front door. You’d have to be staking out the back of the building to know exactly who had the lights on or were at home.
*It was also gated and enclosed, with a security guard during the evening hours, patrolling the community. Many people of different lifestyles lived there, so people could and would be up at all hours. It was a comfort knowing that someone was at least somewhat awake and aware, should anything strange happen in the middle of the night.
Living in a house, I feel so exposed.
That sounds so counter-intuitive to me, but maybe others out there feel like I do. While I have gates and locks and neighbours as I did at my building, I feel all alone on a night like this.
(Seriously, with evil clowns patrolling the US in the news lately, I am a little overwhelmed in holding down this fort on my own.)
*I’m in a nice quiet neighbourhood where most people keep to themselves. This means that it’s a dead street once the sun sets. It can make you feel really isolated, even when you can hear your neighbours phone ringing at times.
*It’s easier for people to see when you’re home or not. That applies to all the neighbours. Houses with windows are great things in the daytime and are things I wanted when home shopping. However, let’s be real about this: from the outside, a neighbour could really tell each time I went to the bathroom just by following the lights.
*While I do have gates, I still feel exposed. In the end, if someone knocks or should a terrible event happen where someone jumps the fence or tries to break in, it’s really all up to me to enforce the boundaries and protect the place. Sure, I can call the cops, but it was really great back when I can just call security to deal with a suspicious sound
Don’t mistake my words here. I’m so very happy in my new home. It’ll be new to me for a long time. Having a lot of firsts in a home can be so lonely, especially on those holiday evenings. Still, it’s hard not to get nervous on those first nights adulting in a big world.